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Let’s Joke About It

We recently met a cancer survivor who had testicular cancer when he was a teenager. He told us that what made his fertility preservation experience easier is humor.

We definitely want that your fertility journey and your experience with will be as enjoyable as possible, so we decided to dedicate a post to the humor behind sperm banking and fertility preservation.

  1. Where do sperm samples come from?
    Q:  What’s the difference between Saddam Hussein and a sperm?
    A:  One comes from Baghdad, the other comes from Dad’s bag.
  2. Although we currently do not offer sperm donations as a service, we found this funny joke about sperm donation:
    Q:  Why do you get paid more at the Sperm Bank than at the Blood Bank?
    A:  Sperm is handmade.
  3. Robbery in a sperm bank:
    A guy walks into a sperm bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says, “But sir, its just a sperm bank!” “I don’t care, open it now!” he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says, “Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!” she looks at him, “BUT, they are sperm samples?” “DO IT!” So the nurse sucks it back. “That one there, drink that one as well,” so the nurse drinks that one as well.
    Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, “See honey its not that hard.”
  1. Checking sperm count:
    A 70 year old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow.” The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor’s office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day.  The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: “Well, doc, it’s like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing.  She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and  she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing.”  The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?” the old man replied, “yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn’t get the jar open!”
  1. Luckily that spares you the awkward experience at an onsite sperm bank or clinic:
    The subject of conversation on the local radio station’s morning show recently was sperm banks.  The broadcasters were taking calls from listeners and one caller indicated that he worked at a sperm bank. “Really?”, said the deejay, “just what do you do there?”  “I’m the doorman” was the reply, “when sample depositors leave, I hold the door and tell them – thanks for coming!”.
  1. Last but not least:
    A sperm bank is the only bank where you make a deposit and lose interest.
    We hope this is not the case, and that we will continue being a significant part of your fertility journey. Thank you for choosing for your fertility insurance.


Disclaimer: provides general information and discussion about medicine, health, and related subjects. The words, views, and other content provided here, and in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. If the reader, or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed physician or other health care worker. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor immediately.

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