Single Guy Confession

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“Single, 35 years old, web designer, from Queens, NY”

This is my description in almost all dating apps. This is also how my parents and friends describe me to their friends and every single woman they meet.

My story is quite standard: I’m working as a web designer for a big high-tech company in Manhattan. I work many hours a day, and sometimes even during the weekends. I was promoted a few months ago, and since then, my work became even more intensive. So, as you can imagine, I don’t have a lot of time for dating.

I’m meeting girls in bars when I’m going out with friends after work, but I’m quite a shy guy and afraid to approach. I registered to many different dating apps and websites, but nothing serious has ever came out of it. My friends are trying to set me up, but that didn’t lead to anything meaningful yet.

My mother thinks it is my busy schedule at work, and that I’m not putting enough efforts in meeting girls. My best friend, Sandra, thinks that I’m not ready to commit for a relationship. They both might be right.

It’s not that I’m worried about me being single all my life. I want to and I will find someone one day, I’m just not sure when. I accept the fact that I will be older than what my father was when my parents had me. Having this in mind, I made the decision of banking my sperm.

There is a lot of writing online about the research made on the ‘male biological clock’. Yup, this clock exists. According to researches and studies, the quality of my sperm has already started to decline, and will continue declining with my age. This means that at a later age it will be more difficult and will take me more time to conceive. Not only that, my future kids will be at a higher risk for birth defects and other diseases. So why not saving my sperm at this age, when it is still healthy?

I dated a girl that decided to freeze her eggs. I completely understand her choice and supported her in doing so. If she took actions to make sure she will be a parent in the future, I decided I should make an effort to ensure the same. Especially when it is much less costly and invasive than freezing eggs.

I know that we all heard stories about men who had kids in their 60’s, 70’s and even 80’s. But my generation is different than theirs. My generation is exposed to wireless and other devices that emit radiation. My generation has a lifestyle that harms fertility. Not only that, today, one is seven couples in the U.S. faces fertility issues. My generation and I are so different than previous generations, and I can definitely fall in this statistic.

I took responsibility of my own future. I sent two of my sperm samples to Sppare.me’s lab. They divided my samples into 3 and 4 vials, respectively, so I have 7 vials safely stored for the future. I will be able to use my sperm and have kids at the right time for me. This makes me feel much less stressed to find someone and start a family. I even think that now that I’m more relaxed, my dates are going better.

To learn more about the male biological clock and your options, click here.

 

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